ECLECTIC ACROSTIC "CONTEST"

THE GRIDLOCKSMITH has been preoccupied with trying to pay bills and such. (As well as recovering from his annual Spring allergy attack- (and as a bonus, an ear infection - gotta feel for the old guy) So, to keep the ball rolling, here is our guest columnist, bon vivant and old friend, Bo Guss... (His previous post)

Yes, friends, I am back with great news! THE GRIDLOCKSMITH has given the OK for a fun "contest" for all you creative traffic safety thinkers. I'm sure that you recall we recently discussed the danger of angry driving. Well, we've been thinking about doing a line of traffic safety promoting products like T-shirts and such. Heck, if enuf of you fine folks like 'em and buy 'em, GRIDLOCKSMITH might not have to work so hard trying to pay all them bills... and that kid of his just graduated college, last December. (Cum Laude! Congrats, Mel!)

Anyway, the "contest" works like this: The Gridlocksmith, or a trusted associate, will select from the submissions, a design to be used on T-shirts and, possibly, other items like coffee mugs, tote bags, fur coats, whatever you folks might get scammed into buying.

The object is to put together a profound statement about the danger of driving in an extreme state of anger, in acrostic form. The vertical punch word is: "DANGER." The first two lines are: DRIVING...
ANGRILY...

Here is my first effort:

DRIVING
ANGRILY
NEVER
GETS
EXCELLENT
RESULTS

OK, not exactly Shakespearean, but you get the idea, right? It shouldn't be too hard to top that, eh? Just come up with four measly ... uh, profound words that pack a punch. that rilly get the message across. that will sell a million shirts! And the prize shall be... a T-shirt! ..with your winning design and, if you like, indelibly autographed by the GRIDLOCKSMITH, himself. And, if people clamor for tote bags, the winner gets one of those, as well. How fair is that? (The usual small print applies. No cash value, blah-dee-dah.)

OK, let's get them gray cells in gear and pour in those entries to: gls@gridlocksmith.com

Til next time, this is Bo Guss, sayin' Drive like you wanna survive!

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I am a huge fan of The Darwin Awards, partly because they make me laugh, and partly because Mother Nature really needs help in the fight against IQ deficiency taking over the gene pool. A link back to "The GridLockSmith" can be found there(!) A first.
To see the (revised) first post of my humble blog, click here.
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SAVED BY THE BELT

Do you recall seeing print ads that read, "SAVED BY THE BELT?"

Years ago, I was driving toward downtown, Washington, D.C. on Massachussetts Avenue on a clear, summer day. Unexpectedly, a curtain of muck covered the windshield, and before I could even think of the wipers, the car came to a sudden halt against a utility pole. Being in the habit of buckling up, I was unharmed. The muck was the result of teamwork and timing provided by sanitation workers pumping it up from under the street, one of our famous (cavernous) potholes, and another car hitting the invisible hole.

Perhaps my story will someday appear in one of those ads? You *do* always buckle up, don't you?

***

For those who love sarcasm... someone had to do a site like this. Doggiesnot has done it, rather thoroughly. It is called, "HOW TO DRIVE LIKE A MORON" and has been called, "a bible for useless drivers."


REMEMBER, the position of "gridlocksmith" is open to all. What does one need to do to be a gridlocksmith? Observe how you can have a positive effect on traffic flow, the mood of drivers around you, drive kindly and always set the safe example in traffic.

Coming Next: The DANGER acrostic poster/T-shirt "contest"

What next? T-shirts and coffee mugs? Hmmm... Why not? If anyone knows of a foundation that funds free lance traffic safety activists, you might send them a link to gridlocksmith. Depending on your email provider, pasting in "http://www.thegridlocksmith.blogspot.com" may be all it takes to create a link in your mail. Thanks!!

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I am a huge fan of The Darwin Awards, partly because they make me laugh, and partly because Mother Nature really needs help in the effort to prevent "idiocy" taking over the gene pool. A link back to "The GridLockSmith" can be found there(!) A first.
To see the first post of this blog, click here.
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BACK IN THE SADDLE...(GINGERLY)

HOOEE! After being locked out of the blog dashboard (the inner sanctum in which these posts are produced) for so long, it seems appropriate to let loose with a bit of exultation. A nameless former team member got carried away and set up a new Blogger account, totally unaware, I'm sure, that it would block the door to our control room. ARG! The miscreant now is locked up in the stocks until we can administer a proper pelting with overripe tomatoes. Since they have yet to be transplanted into the garden, it will be a while...

Anyone out there, well informed and nerdish who would like to lend a hand with our stark learning curve? What do webmasters know that we should? HTML?

While working on the new website, gridlocksmith.com, (not ready for viewing, yet) an effort was made to set up another site, ROADRAGERS.COM. Surprise! It already exists. Not wishing to duplicate the efforts of others, (especially if others are more competent) why not direct ragers there, with the request that they come back to report their experiences, there?

It has been suggested that there should be a means for visitors to show their support for this iconoclastic infidel. Since the gridlocksmith has no government grants, and is working with tired, second hand equipment, he had to agree. The donation button makes more sense than standing by the roadside with a cardboard sign reading, "Will traffic safety advocate for food."

Well, it's about time for your dysfunctional writer to trundle back to his sickbed. Not to worry. There should be no more huge lapses.(Sorry 'bout that!) The next few posts are nearly written.

Meanwhile, the position of "gridlocksmith" is open to all. What does one need to do to be a gridlocksmith? Observe how you can have a positive effect on traffic flow, the mood of drivers around you, drive kindly and always set the safe example in traffic.

Coming Soon: "Operation S.E.T." and the acrostic poster/T-shirt "contest"

What next? T-shirts and coffee mugs? Hmmm...

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I am a huge fan of The Darwin Awards, partly because they make me laugh, and partly because Mother Nature really needs help in the effort to prevent "idiocy" taking over the gene pool. A link back to "The GridLockSmith" can be found there(!) A first.
To see the first post of this blog, click here.
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INTRODUCING: "ROADRAGERS"

A CONFESSION (of sorts)
by gridlocksmith

The gridlocksmith is a fellow
Who likes the traffic mellow.
But, when drivers intrude
With attitudes, rude...
He sometimes wants to bellow!

Can we try a little experiment?

Here is a sister site called, "ROADRAGERS" devoted to giving space for us to vent our anger. Will knowing that we have such a place make a difference the next time we feel the anger rising as we witness careless, clueless, dangerous drivers in action?


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I am a huge fan of The Darwin Awards, partly because they make me laugh, and partly because Mother Nature really needs help in the effort to prevent "idiocy" taking over the gene pool. A link back to "The GridLockSmith" can be found there(!) A first.
To see the first post of my humble blog, click here.
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