GATOR REPORT FROM ALI...

We all wonder what gets in the heads of some pedestrians.
(Dress in dark clothes to play in traffic, at nite! That's no way to win the Darwin Award.)

Now comes this report from our buddy near "the southern command," Ali Gater...

Hello, mates! From the hot and unusually dry land of shrinking swamps and gregarious gators (and Gaters) comes the news that even gators know to look both ways before crossing. (It should be pointed out that Florida officials want drivers to be aware of the altitude-challenged (low-down & harder to see) critters and have posted signs.)

Here is a Sun-Sentinel report of a smarter-than-the-average gator. Since the link may expire, I will tell you that it looked both ways, waited for an opening, then crossed the road, safely.

Wouldn't it be lovely if more humanoid pedestrians were so wise?

Good luck, and here's hoping that many recruits are joining the army of gridlocksmiths - Ali

*****

Thanks, Ali. The "army" is still quite small, but designs are in the works for uniforms (hats and T-shirts) and bumperstickers. A new "Become a GRIDLOCKSMITH" page will soon be up on the site.

Did you see the "DANGER" Acrostic Challenge? It is at this previous post.

Have you ever seen a guy by the road holding a cardboard sign,
"Will traffic safety advocate for food?"
Hmmm... Perhaps, he could be selling bumperstickers for GRIDLOCKSMITH.COM?

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
I am a big fan of The Darwin Awards, partly because they make me laugh, and partly because Mother Nature really needs help in the fight against IQ deficiency taking over the gene pool.
Here is the (revised) first post of this humble blog.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

ANOTHER REASON TO DRIVE KINDLY

FREDDY FLUSSTERD
art by Earl Shoop

Imagine that another driver on the road, near you, is severely depressed (perhaps even contemplating suicide by running into the nearest large tree or other solid object - or, maybe, the next driver who acts like a jerk).

Would it really be a good idea to treat that driver unkindly? How do you know which driver is that one? Are there more than one?

"You mean I gotta be kind to everybody?"

What would it hurt?

It's only human to fear
When danger is always near.
So, if you are driving
Unclear of surviving,
Here is a reason for cheer.

Other folks, I'm sure it's true,
Probably, want to live, too.
So, smile and be kind;
You're certain to find
They may be friendly to you.
- Earl Shoop

Are you, or someone you know, depressed, or even considering suicide? Or just need some cheering up, chuckles, mirth, laffter...
Check out these helpful resources listed on this page of gridlocksmith.com.

**********************
BUMPERSTICKERS!
**********************

What should be the first GRIDLOCKSMITH.COM bumpersticker message?

There is some buzz about this candidate:

DRIVE KINDLY - NOT BLINDLY
visit GRIDLOCKSMITH.COM

The Mrs has expressed some reservations on the basis that it might be an affront to the "visually challenged." One can understand the (over?)sensitivity on her part, as she has cerebral palsy and has long worked with people with disabilities.

Another candidate:

ARE YOU PART OF THE PROBLEM
OR PART OF THE SOLUTION?
www.GRIDLOCKSMITH.COM

Finally:

BE A GRIDLOCKSMITH - DRIVE KINDLY
www.gridlocksmith.com

As always, your comments are craved.

As you may have surmised, gridlocksmith.com is now on the web. It is under construction, with lots of content still to come. Patience, dear friends; much time is consumed, lately, with the job search and dodging bill collectors.

Did you see the "DANGER" Acrostic Challenge? It is at this previous post.

Have you ever seen a guy by the road holding a cardboard sign,
"Will traffic safety advocate for food?"
Hmmm... Perhaps, he could be selling bumperstickers?

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
I am a huge fan of The Darwin Awards, partly because they make me laugh, and partly because Mother Nature really needs help in the fight against IQ deficiency taking over the gene pool.
To see the (revised) first post of this humble blog, click here.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

JUST LIKE NATURE, TRAFFIC ABHORS A VACUUM

It seems that some people don't understand that if there is a large area of open roadway, drivers are going to be sucked into it as surely as if there had been a vacuum.

Someone wrote in the "Driving Me Crazy" feature of the "Bumper to Bumper" column (3/29/06) in our local GAZETTE, that drivers see an upcoming lane closure and "wait until the last second to get out of that lane, thus causing a line of cars in the adjacent lane to screech to a halt." Those drivers are vilified by the writer as self-centered and aggressive, and bemoans "...having been cut off several times..."

"Cut off?" That is a misnomer as people most commonly use the term. But, I have already clarified that (I hope) in a previous post. The issue I wish to address, here, is the question of how we, the driving public, should handle lane closures without "screeching." (either vocally, or tire-wise)

Should we surmise that the writer would have us all, immediately upon seeing our lane closed ahead, abandon our totally empty lane to get into a bumper to bumper line-up? Hmm? OK. Let's say that we do just that. How long before that line extends all the way back over a hill or around a curve? Here comes Joe Schmoe (perhaps, our writer?) who is suddenly aware that the lane is closed ahead, but the next lane is already a creeping B2B line. Hoo-boy! What to do? Following the writer's logic, Joe had best put the car in reverse, and find the end of that line! Or, maybe Joe is a rude and aggressive driver and continues to drive forward. Joe, of course, puts on signals and looks for someone to let him in. If Joe succeeds in getting into the other lane and is passed by other drivers (who could not bring themselves to abandon that lovely empty pavement) will he become resentful of them? Will he want to let them in? Will he crowd the bumper before him to become part of a solid wall of resentment and rage against those rude drivers who didn't get in back of the line?

This is insanity! We are certainly not going to agree to all get in the back of that line. It would be crazy and dangerous to even try.

So, what should we do?

Remember when banks had seperate lines to each teller? We were always faced with trying to figure out which line would get us to a teller quickest. When we guessed wrong, we felt so exasperated and demoralized. But if we guessed right, we waltzed out of there like the world was our oyster. (Perhaps, I exaggerate a teeny bit.) Then, something changed. The banks set up a single line! Wow, what a long line, we thought. But, we got used to it, and appreciated how quickly we got our business done on a first-come-first-served basis that was fair to all.

I propose that we use the bank line plan in reverse. Fully utilize the road by staying in lane and politely allow an alternate merge at the point of closure. (Traffic czars, please note: signs with the message, "MAINTAIN LANES - ALTERNATE MERGE AHEAD" or something similar would be a great help. We do need to know what is expected of us if we are to get on the same page.)

No more being faced with one empty lane vs a crawling line. No more resenting other drivers for zooming by. No more excuse for hostility!

As always, your thoughts are eagerly welcomed.

Did you see the "DANGER" Acrostic Challenge? It is at this previous post.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
I am a huge fan of The Darwin Awards because they make me laugh and learn that there are some things you really should not try at home -- or anywhere else.
To see the opening post of my humble blog, click here.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Have you ever seen a guy by the road holding a cardboard sign,
"Will traffic safety advocate for food?" hmmm...

SAFETY vs "TRIBUTE"

Your gridlocksmith has just celebrated thirty years of marriage with Laureen Summers (who took the lovely sunset photo on the first post) and it has been one fine adventure after another! (It was a fine outdoor wedding on a Virginia hilltop within sight of "Old Rag" on May 2, 1976.) After discovering how expensive restaurants can be, we had a lovely candle lit dinner at home. mmm!

On to the topic du jour...

A headline on page one of the Metro Section of the Washington Post (5-2-06) reads, "Roadside Tributes Wear Out Their Welcome" subhead: "Md. Officials Set to Enforce Ban, Citing Growing Size and Safety Concerns." It seems that some folks' tributes to loved ones who died on the highway have become elaborate enough to be considered distractions and safety hazards.

As a youth, growing up in South Dakota, I saw many roadside signs with the single word, "THINK" and a large "X" which marked the place where someone had died. If you came to a curve in the road with a dozen "THINK" signs, you tended to think about slowing down.

Could Maryland adopt the "THINK" sign as both a warning to motorists to be alert and to acknowledge those who have died on our highways?

***

Many thanks to Bo Guss for filling in and introducing the "DANGER" Acrostic Challenge. Missed it? Just scroll on down to the previous post.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
I am a huge fan of The Darwin Awards, partly because they make me laugh, and partly because Mother Nature really needs help in the fight against IQ deficiency taking over the gene pool.
To see the (revised) first post of my humble blog, click here.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Have you ever seen a guy by the road holding a cardboard sign,
"Will traffic safety advocate for food?" hmmm...